bare boobs

i wanna be drunk always
cuz when im drinking
im feeling
falling into
who
I am?
Who the fuck am I.
I feel with my clit pressing against his bones
burying my face in his chest
him telling me
shut the fuck up
I deserve to be plunderd
pilliged cuz im
not broken enough to be
beautiful
but
im still broken
or bending as far as I can
I can't believe I feel entitled
to tell you you arent enough
for the girl that plants her ass on cement
just to cool down

think of you

it was a stupid sentiment

promising myself to stop

thinking of you

but 

thoughts think themselves

and here I am

with your book in my hands

sea water leaking from behind my lashes

why 

wasn't I 

enough

for the man who made me believe words were worth something

you will always be my only unrequited love

I get it

I'm out of my mind

its out of everyones hands 

a majority of the time 

but I could have showed you the stars behind my eyelids 

you got me cuz I don't know what I deserve

you got me cuz apparently I'm not worth much

I'm his left overs 

left 

over and 

over again 

for life 

because life always gets in the way 

of what matters 

to me 

and I guess I'm the problem if problems 

revolve around me 

I guess there is always a reason 

and if I let idiots surround me 

it's my fault 

that I'm always falling down 

I know you don't know this 

or notice but 

you're hurting me bad 

I'm only trying to make you feel better 

but 

you are always mad 

I'm sorry I'm trying 

for everyone I love

but it's so fucking hard to just get back up 

Staples

I tucked my sadness between my fingers 

and reached for it with a razor to my wrist whenever 

I wished for its comfortable claws to carry me back to

crazy 

these hospital walls harbor the pain of many more

broken than me 

and I can still hear them screaming 

(crazy)

I feel the lurid darkness slumping over my shoulders

he whispers 

that he loves me not 

and I see that not even whiskey can make my sadness stay 

away 

the moths 

they beckon me to burn with them but 

I've loved my blood to much to watch it 

sizzle 

steaming like the windows of the car where 

I left my soul with you 

I'm just calling to ask for it back

(crazy)

mutilation

finish you cigarettes ma
else your little girl is going to relight the butts
your little dose of death from your lips to hers

Post title

Defamed names and depettled roses 

She sat with tabloids beneath one hands pink painted nails 

The other hand picking 

"He loves me, he loves me not" 

Innocent underneath all that was not a lot 

Draping from her body 

Red lipstick covered her Cupid's bow 

And sighs of sad came through her undiscovered mouth 

The pictures screamed skinny, skinny under glossy paper 

And she huffed 

"He loves me not" 

Swinging chairs

I've been to Coney Island 

I saw the carnies and furtively unearthed their secret desire 

To be enjoyed, admired, loved 

I loved them 

Just the way a sister loves hers 

I pushed my index finger against the enormous trouble aching in my temples 

I couldn't defeat the sound of anguish in their laughter 

So I rode the cyclone til the cyclops had three eyes and I vomited my heart 

I left it there at Coney Island between his and the redheads hands

I whispered come back to me when I've been fucked 

But it won't return til I have been loved 

I thought it might be you that returned my treasured organ but you 

Were nothing more than a game piece I guess 

Because she refuses to come back 

Marker tattoos

Falling for you was as easy as dozing off on a purple skied night 

you made me feel like more than my mother made me out to be 

I hate that I couldn't choke out please that last time we spoke 

I hope you can find solace in solemn thoughts of me and that 

My arms are remembered warmer than how cold they feel tonight 

Cold cuz I cut them again and even 'neath my pillow I feel them drain 

Cold cuz you imbued freezing melancholy into my veins 

Cold cuz that's exactly how I was made 

I crashed my car

before the existence of the two of you 
you were fine with your cherry plump cheeks and the way your voice wrasped
you could count your cares on one hand and 
stand 
without thoughts of his lip kisses and smirks 
erasing the memory's from the albums doesn't work to
do the mending of broken heart 
art is what you want to make now but not kind like before
spiteful and screaming paint splattered poetry
you don't even really know anything but his name
he laughs in pictures with pretty girls 
with angled eyes and you despise his wiseness now
because it makes you sad you've lost it 
but he never belonged to you 
he was a vessel empty of the entity that wanted you once
be careful not to cry too much 
your irises envy the tearlessness of angle eyed girls

Burned

Her lipglossed butts glowed from the ashtray and I could still hear her giggle from New York City.

She said she wanted to be where the lights pretty I'd guessed poetically. I shouldnt't have let her throw down her curling iron on our hardwood floor because it not only burned a perfect line against the grain but it remained to haunt me every time the roughness caught my sock. She was wonderous in everyway and I hadn't done anything good to deserve my time with her yet I felt robbed by her runway.

Olivia had been, at one time, mine but Johnny cash's ballad of a teenage queen proved wrong in my instance; she hadn't returned to me. 

Tired

You think it's funny that we went there 

When we're so familiar but I think it sweet 

That we 

Finally found our lips locking on the walk we took to talk 

About last night

I can't read your shaky signs 

So please be 

Explicit in explaining your feelings 

For me

Earbuds

Empty chairs wait for planted asses 

For hours of institutional instruction

While these bums wiggle for blood circulation 

The brains belonging to them beg for sustinence 

Josey Jean waits patiently craving to stand 

And 

taste tabs after her dismissal 

While Henry Humbert wishes to hurry home to Xbox and porn

We all want out 

thats all

planted one on me then
ran away
school boy
I love you
please stay

Please don't not call

I've been waiting by the phone like 

I were younger than I am 

And it's the sound of silence that's starting to break me 

Please don't not call 

I've never missed a laugh so much 

Or the anticipation in the quiet while you think  

I miss seeing your name 

And knowing you want me 

Do you still want me? 

If you do 

Please don't not call